Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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