wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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