I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
God, I missed his penis.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
