Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
