you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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