WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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