Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
