You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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