the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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