He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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