weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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