So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
