I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
