Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
