Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
