i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
