Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
