Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
