Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
