in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
