White coat. Heels.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
