you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
