It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
