hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
