College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
