I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
