carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
