i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
