I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
