you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
