Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
