And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
