She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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