Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
