so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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