I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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