i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
