Just cropdusted the office
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
