super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
