Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
