you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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