You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
