I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
