Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
