He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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