so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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