you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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