i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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