But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
