at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
