It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
