dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
