I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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