..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pants are for mortals
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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