Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
