did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think i got beer on your cat.
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